Help! A Bear Is Eating Me!

“A satirical swan song for the secret reptile desires in every American heart…face-melting fun from first to last.”

– JEREMY ROBERT JOHNSON, author of Angel Dust Apocalypse and Extinction Journals

“An imaginative, colorful, incredibly funny read. The title catches you. The synopsis grips you. And the story itself puts a choke-hold on you like…well, like you’re being eaten by a bear. I found myself laughing out loud over and over. From start to finish, I devoured every word.”

– MARJORIE FRUM, reader of Labryinth and Tiff, Taff and Lulu

“This book is irreverent, vile, gross and absolutely hysterical. Do not read it in bed with your partner trying to sleep next to you… they will be awakened either by you falling off the bed laughing, or by you poking them in the side saying, ‘just listen to this part!’ as you proceed to read them a paragraph that will have both of you rolling around on the floor holding your crotch to keep from peeing yourselves.”

– CHRIS OFFUT, person much like yourself


Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature’s finest predators, Marv Pushkin — Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber — waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone’s fault but his own.

129 pages. Paperback. Brown. $10.95.

BUY: Buy this book now at Powell’s City Of Books or Amazon.com!

RENT-TO-OWN: It’s also available for the Amazon Kindle!

GIVE: A custom-autographed copy, direct from the author, makes a great gift.


LISTEN: Listen to the free podcast of Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! You’ll swerve with laughter!

WATCH: Watch this important bear-safety video, staring Famous Author Mykle Hansen!

SMELL: Experience the bookish aroma of our smellivision-enhanced book site, helpabeariseatingme.com!

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