Over a month without coffee and I still feel sluggish. Perhaps I just am; perhaps sluggish is the real me. But I had hoped that by giving my body a break from the caffeine I would find some secret store of energy and motivation in myself. Apparently it’s not so simple.
Since I quit coffee I’ve been going to bed earlier, and rising earlier, but I don’t feel any healthier, wealthier or wiser. In fact, I have been waking up for no reason in the middle of the wee hours, anywhere from three to six AM. I don’t think it’s because my body’s done sleeping — I feel groggy and miserable when I wake up like that. Usually if I go downstairs for a glass of water and then climb back into bed, I fall right back to sleep. But if I lie there trying to sleep, I’ll be awake until dawn.
I miss coffee. No matter how long I do this, I always will. I am beginning to doubt this whole project; I still remember why I quit, and I still agree, but the whole experience seems like an absence. It’s brought nothing new into my life, it’s only taken things out. I need to fill that hole with something. Read the rest of this entry »