Big Apple Attack!

April 13th, 2010

Tomorrow I fly to New York City.  If you see this bike, you know I’m nearby:

Guest List!

Wherever I’ve traveled lately, I’ve found it terribly frustrating to not have a bike.  I am becoming like a mongol with his horse — I need it for any trip of 100 feet or greater.But this time, I’m ready!  This mini-velo frame was built by one of Portland’s leading bicycle mad scientists, a man known only as “Doc”.  Over the last month I’ve been upgrading it with used parts, dialing in the ride.  Now it’s ready.  It steers like a roller skate, but it’s fast like a luge.  I can break it down and fit it in a suitcase in just under 10 minutes.

One thing I’ll be doing in NYC is SIGNING BOOKS.  This is not an official event; I’m just going into bookstores that carry my books, and signing them with a pen.  I assume they won’t mind.  After all, autographs make books more valuable.  Perhaps I should sign all the books?

Another New York project is VISITING FRIENDS.  If you are a friend, and would like to receive a free consultation, please get in touch!  I am particularly interested in attending your parties.

Furthermore, I’ll be assisting notorious Portland smut-teur Reverend Phil Sano at the Brooklyn screening of BIKE PORN 3: CYCLE BOUND.  If you’ve seen the other two Bike Porn tours, I can honestly confirm that this one is the best yet.  If you like sex and you like bicycles, you really ought to see this when it comes through your town.

What else is there to do in New York?  What isn’t there?   I’m only worried that I’ll be paralyzed by a surfeit of choices. But at any rate, I won’t be taking the laptop with me.  So Internet, if you have anything important to tell me, tell me today.

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