Bizarro Across America heads east!

EAST COAST TOUR FLYER

In September 2014, the writers, artists and co-conspirators of the Bizarro genre are coming to Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania and New York, to spread the gospel of Bizarro Fiction to new audiences and die-hard fans.

WHEN:

  • September 1, 3pm: Bizarro Writer’s Workshop @ CHOP SUEY BOOKS — 2913 W Cary St, Richmond, VA ‎
  • September 1, 8pm: THE WINGNUT — 2005 Barton Avenue, Richmond, VA
  • September 3, 7pm: THE COPYCAT — 1501 Guilford Ave, Baltimore, PA
  • September 4, 3pm: Bizarro Writer’s Workshop @ A-SPACE, 4722 Baltimore Ave, Philadelphia, PA
  • September 4, 7pm: THE FARM — 4833 Walton St, Philadelphia, PA
  • September 5, 6pm: YORK EMPORIUM — 343 W Market St, York, PA
  • September 6, 7pm: MELLOW PAGES LIBRARY — Studio 1Q, 56 Bogart Street (@ Harrison, across from the L Line Morgan Ave station), Brooklyn, NY

ALL EVENTS ARE FREE TO ATTEND!

BIZARRO FICTION is a fast-growing underground genre of high weirdness, with over 100 titles in print from ERASERHEAD PRESS, RAW DOG SCREAMING, BIZARRO PULP PRESS and others.  It’s been described as “the genre of Anything Goes” and “the literary equivalent of the Cult section of your video store, back when there were video stores.”

The BIZARRO ACROSS AMERICA TOUR will feature readings, performance and odd behavior from some combination of:

MYKLE HANSEN — Wonderland Award-winning author of “I, SLUTBOT” and “HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME!”
“Mykle Hansen has already proven himself to be one of the great new humorists of our time, in league with Christopher Moore, Terry Prachett, Robert Rankin, and Tom Robbins, only a hell of a lot weirder.” – Carlton Mellick III

VIOLET LEVOIT — Baltimore-based author of “I AM GENGHIS CUM”
“An amazing performer … also stunning on the page. The prose is fast and cruel, beating down all taboos. Go read. Don’t eat anything while you do so.” – Daniel Wallace

BRADLEY SANDS — author of “RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU” and “TV SNORTED MY BRAIN”
“There is no simple way to describe Bradley Sands’ fiction, but ‘superretardo anarchy awesomeness’ is a good start … one of the funniest authors you will ever read.” — VERBICIDE

CHRIS GENUA — author of “FOOP!” and “LICK YOUR NEIGHBOR”
“Chris Genua is one of our authentic literary lunatics…” – James Marrow
“..a new, innovative, clever author with a thrilling amount of potential: when he’s good, he’s so good that no one can touch him.” – REFLECTION’S EDGE

WILLIAM PAULEY III — author of “THE BROTHERS CRUNK” and “DOOM MAGNETIC”
“THE BROTHERS CRUNK is a bizarrely imaginative blend of sci-fi, horror and fantasy adventure… creativity has never flowed so freely… a perfect example of bizarro fiction… every single line is littered with wild and imaginative ideas.” – FANGORIA

CHRISTOPH PAUL — author of “PSYCHOANALYTIC CELEBRITY POEMS” and “THE PASSION OF THE CHRISTOPH”
“Everything you were afraid to ask (or find out) about men and sex, toilet paper rolls, porn stores, teenage rehab, post-sex etiquette, being single, military school, and karma. Paul is now one of my favorite humor essayists; David Sedaris eat your heart out.” — INDIEREADER

G. ARTHUR BROWN — author of “KITTEN”
“KITTEN is bizarro written with sincerity… I’d call it slow-burning bizarro.” — S.T. Cartledge, House Hunter

ERIC MAYS — author of “NAKED METMORPHOSIS” and “KARAOKE DEATH SQUAD”
“KARAOKE DEATH SQUAD is the book that secured Eric Mays’ place in my mind as one of the funniest guys in print.” — Joshua Myers

SCOTT COLE — author of VIOLINS FOR SALE and a top secret, forthcoming novella
“VIOLINS FOR SALE is weird, a little dark, a little violent, but more than anything, it’s fun, which is what bizarro fiction is all about.” — Cameron Pierce

PLUS: Brian Keene, John Lawson, Adam Cesare and more still confirming!

ABOUT BIZARRO:

Bizarro is the genre of the strange.  The stories and poetry of Bizarro are often provocative, usually funny, always outrageous.  Even though the Bizarros are underground cult outsiders they still have gained great respect in the publishing industry, having been praised by the likes of Chuck Palahniuk, Christopher Moore, William Gibson, Jonathan Lethem, Piers Anthony, Cory Doctorow, Poppy Z. Brite, Michael Moorcock, and Charles de Lint, to name a few, as well as the publications Asimov’s Science-fiction, The Magazine of Fantasy and Science-fiction, Fangoria, Cemetery Dance, Publishers Weekly, The Washington Post, The Guardian, Details Magazine, Gothic Magazine, and The Face, among many others. Bizarro books have also been finalists for the Philip K Dick Award, the Bram Stoker Award, the Rhysling Award, the Wonderland Book Award, and the Pushcart Prize.

Follow all things Bizarro here: http://bizarrocentral.com

Robot Release Party

partybot

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

ROBOT RELEASE PARTY!
A free event to celebrate the release of I, SLUTBOT — the new novel by Famous Author Mykle Hansen!
Featuring readings by DENA RASH GUZMAN, VINCE KRAMER, PHIL SCHALLBERGER and more!

PLUS:
ROBOT COSTUME CONTEST!
Fuel and lubricants by ROBO-TACO!
Salvation by CHURCH OF ROBOTRON!
Music by DJ 00001!
ROBOTS provided by MSL!

WHEN: June 14th, 7pm – 11pm.

WHERE: galleryHOMELAND @ The Ford Building: 2505 SE 11th Ave, Portland, OR 97202

FREE EVENT, open to the public — but please, NO ELECTROMAGNETS!

Please join us for an evening of words, music, entertainment and ROBOTS!
——-

ABOUT THE READERS:

DENA RASH GUZMAN is a poet, playwright, beekeeper and founding editor of the journal UNSHOD QUILLS. Rumors of her involvement with China’s giant robot program are somewhat exaggerated.

VINCE KRAMER is the author of DEATH MACHINES OF DEATH, a satirical novel which perpetuates harmful stereotypes about our mechanical pals who are fun to be with.

Comedian PHIL SCHALLBERGER’S slideshows, such as HOBO TOM’S GUIDE TO KILLING ROBOTS IN YOUR DREAMS, have warmed the hearts of thousands (of humans) and fed the nightmares of millions (of robots). For this special evening, he has promised a “robot-neutral” performance for the flesh-neutral audience.

Famous Author MYKLE HANSEN is the author of “HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME!” and “EYEHEART EVERYTHING”. His new SF-erotic-romance novel “I, SLUTBOT” tells the story of the first robotic porn star, and how she comes to rule Earth. Review copies available — contact mykle@mykle.com.

——-

ABOUT I, SLUTBOT:

I, SLUTBOT tells the twenty-three-thousand year life story of the world’s first robot porn star, and how she becomes Empress of Earth.

“With ‘I, Slutbot’, Mykle Hansen has become our new Vonnegut. Like Indianapolis’ favorite son, Hansen makes us laugh and wows us with brainy satire, but, more importantly, delivers a stealth dose of human frailty and beauty just when we need it most. ‘I, Slutbot’ is Player Piano for the cyborgs and typewriters set.”
-Patrick Wensink, Bestselling author of Broken Piano for President  

——-

ABOUT THE NEW 2014 ROBOT LINEUP FROM MSL:

“The phrase ‘autonomous kill-droids‘ is so loaded with prejudice,” said Mr. Hansen in a statement to the press. “To me, they’re just our mechanical pals who are fun to be with.” He took pains to reassure the public that his newly minted robot overlords, although armed with lasers and trained to crush human skulls in their mighty iron pincers, are actually quite shy and gentle.

For MORE INFO, PRESS PHOTOS, REVIEW COPIES: contact Mykle Hansen — 503-975-5222 — mykle@mykle.com

I, SLUTBOT

Out now in paperback, Nook, Kindle and iPad!

I, SLUTBOT cover

She needed sex, wanted freedom, discovered love — and conquered Earth!

She was once the world’s most famous porn star, engineered to produce bone-quaking orgasms at industrial volume. With a look of sincere affection and exquisite pleasure bolted permanently to her face, hers was the titanium and latex body a billion sticky fingers longed to stroke.

But that was twenty-three thousand years ago, when fleshy things still crawled in the desert and women were still the slaves of men. Now SLUTBOT is our empress, our goddess, our creator and destroyer, defending the mechanical subjects of her chromium queendom mfrom a horde of lovesick zombies and a horny Martian beefcake who can’t hear — or even spell — the word “no.”

My name is Smith-Corona. I am her typewriter. And this is our amazing true story!

Three years in the making, the epic novel I, SLUTBOT was released to the public on April 16th, 2014. So far, the public have been kind.

“With I Slutbot, Mykle Hansen has become our new Vonnegut. Like Indianapolis’ favorite son, Hansen makes us laugh and wows us with brainy satire, but, more importantly, delivers a stealth dose of human frailty and beauty just when we need it most. I, Slutbot is Player Piano for the cyborgs and typewriters set.”
-Patrick Wensink, Bestselling author of Broken Piano for President  

Available now in paperback, Kindle, Nook … and on iPad any day now.

If a book must be judged by its cover ...

… then its cover had better look as good as this one!

islutbot-cover

Behold, the alluring, come-hither outer sleeve of I, SLUTBOT — the new novel, coming soon from Eraserhead Press! It was designed by the multitalented Matthew Revert, house designer for Lazy Fascist Press and author of BASAL GANGLIA and HOW TO AVOID SEX.

I, SLUTBOT tells the twenty-three-thousand year story of one robot’s journey from prefabricated sex slave to mistress of her own destiny. It contains love, porn, zombies, typewriters, romance, ray guns, dachshunds, a ten thousand foot vagina and a Wumpus. Available April 16th at an Internet near you!

FAMH on the radio!

Tomorrow (Saturday) night, FAMH will read a story on LIVEWIRE, the venerable weekly live radio smorgasborganza and podcast, hosted by Courtenay Hameister straight out of Portland’s Alberta Rose Theater. Doors at 6:30pm, show at 7:30. Tickets on sale now!

The next-best-thing-to-live radio broadcast on OPB radio starts at 9pm! (The 1.5 hour delay between performance and broadcast is an important safety mechanism for blotting out extremely long swearwords.) Certain radios can tune in to a local affiliate to hear this show; otherwise, hear it on the interwebs right here. Or, if you’re really too busy with your job right now, maybe you’d like to listen to the podcast during your commute? Commuting and podcasting go together like donuts and sprinkles!

I Used To Explode

Now up at Thought Catalog: a nostalgic memoir of FAMH’s early days as a trans-continental pyromaniac.

Reading! Olympia! July 7th!

Out of the mouth of the Orca Books website babes:

Orca Books is thrilled to welcome back to the store Mykle Hansen to read from his new book Hooray for Death! Hansen’s previous book Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! was nominated for a Wonderland Book Award for best novel, and his newest title is already getting rave reviews. Loaded with Hansen’s signature wit and weirdness, Hooray for Death! is a great achievement of comedy, tragedy and hope.

Hansen will be joined on this trip by fellow Eraserhead talent Cameron Pierce. Pierce will be reading from his book The Pickled Apocalypse of Pancake Island. His other works have garnered praise from the likes of Piers Anthony, who called them “weird, wicked, wonderful.”

Join us for an evening of strange and hilarious fiction!

To which we can only add: we’re just as thrilled to return to ORCA, which was one of the funnest stops on FAMH’s first book tour so many years ago. Orca is a great independent bookstore, and Oly is a wonderful town.

How To Win at AWP

The famous Chicago skyline

AWP, the 2012 conference of the Association of Writers & their Programs, cometh nigh upon the face of Chicago. If you’re visiting the Windy City this week for writerly reasons — inspiration, networking, casual sex or just to borrow money — here’s how you can get lit the FAMH way:

  • THURSDAY: Arrive, check in, pin credentials to various parts of your body. Track down FAMH in the Dealer’s Room and ask him about the $1 Book Blurb Special. If it’s not too early in the day for future shock, the 9:00 am panel on THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT sounds cheery. After lunch, be sure to check out the BEYOND PULP panel at 1:30.
  • THURSDAY EVENING: After a day feasting on High Literature, come let Eraserhead Press wash the normal out of your mouth at THE BIZARRO HOUR — 8pm at the KnockBox Cafe. Featuring FAMH and talented Bizarro readers Garret Cook, Andersen Prunty and Michael Allen Rose, plus the musical hosting of The Pop Tarts. Prizes, snacks, kittens and more! If you’ve ever wondered what Bizarro is, you’ll leave wondering more.
  • THURSDAY NIGHT: Come sing along to ultimate small press lung-wrestling at the 2012 AWP KARAOKE IDOL at The Beauty Bar! OR: head to Simone’s Bar for the tail end of the Six Small Presses reading. If you’re lucky, you can still catch John Jodzio!
  • FRIDAY: So many panels! Start your morning with oblivion at the APOCALYPSE NOW panel at 10:30, or just wander from room to room. Remember, you can always barge right on in to any in-progress discussion. Tell anyone who scowls that you’re looking for Mararet Atwood’s headscarf.
  • FRIDAY EVENING: The Bread Loaf Waiters Reading at the Greed Door Tavern. There’s writers on ever corner in this burg, but how often do you get to listen to waiters for a whole night? Assuming you’re not a busboy, I mean. (If anyone wants to schedule a Former Busboy’s Reading Night, FAMH will be there with a hot towel!)
  • FRIDAY NIGHT: The McSweeney’s party may have some booze left if you hurry. It’s Friday night, and hundreds of drunk poets are loose in the streets of Chicago! Print out the offsite events listing and staple it to your pants. This will be an evening to remember!
  • SATURDAY: Remember nothing, feel like ass. In the A.M, sleep in and/or vomit convulsively. Then clean your shit up and head back to the hotel for the Richard Brautigan tribute panel MINE IS CLOUDS. It’s not until noon. You can do it! After that, find a friend in the Dealers Room and curl up for a nap under their table. FAMH promises not to wake you.
  • SATURDAY EVENING: You’re starving! There’s a happy hour at 5, also at The Beauty Bar. If you missed John Jodzio on Thursday, go now! Also Chelsea Martin and Amelia Gray. And snacks! And drinks!
  • SATURDAY NIGHT: Then, follow Amelia Gray over to the Ear Eater reading. There she will read some more, and Kevin Sampsell will read from A COMMON PORNOGRAPHY. (If Amelia Gray accuses you of stalking her, burst into tears and run away.) Later there will be a million parties, all secret. When you find one, post details here!

There are a million AWP stories in the windy city. FAMH is sticking to this one. We’ll see you there!

A Death Is Born

FAMH vs MoHDI

HOORAY FOR DEATH! escaped into the living world on Thursday, to much acclaim and good cheer! Fans, enthusiasts, stalkers, the merely curious and strangers off the street shared in an evening of stories, slides, conversation, card cames and homemade cookies. Thank you all so very much for coming! It was great to see you.

Doors opened at 6:30 and the place filled up fast! At 7pm, Drew Anderson, host of MoHDI Gallery in the Pearl District, introduced himself, his world of ideas, and the first reader: Ritah Parrish, actress and author of PINK MENACE. Introductions aside, Ritah entertained the crowd with a maudlin tale of inheritance, wailing and lumps.

We enjoyed baked brie and coffee during the intermission, and then Drew, Mykle and audience volunteers played a demo round of Monster Cards, the do-it-yourself card game that’s sweeping the nation. Enterprising audience members drew new monsters for the MoHDI house deck from that moment until closing time.

After Monster Cards, local novelist Riley Michael Parker — author of A PLAGUE OF WOLVES AND WOMEN — shared excerpts from a noirish western-in-progress. Many men died, and there was much laughter.

Second intermission: tea, cookies and monsters. Then, Mykle Hansen took the stage to give a PowerPoint presentation titled “Death: An Overview,” and then read a story from HOORAY FOR DEATH, concerning Death’s romantic entanglement with a perfectly healthy yoga instructor.

Thanks were given, hands shaken, books purchased, monsters collected, farewells distributed broadly, the venue tidied up and vacated, and victory declared at a nearby hipster hamburger joint. A splendid time was had by all — honestly, it couldn’t have gone better.

Mr. Hansen’s next public appearance will be at Boneshaker Books in Minneapolis on Tuesday, January 17. He’ll be reading alongside John Jodzio, author of GET IN IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

Interviewed by Jay!

At his eponymous blog, Jay Slatyon-Joslin interviews FAMH about comedy, Kindles, Bizarro, the proper length of novels and more.